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Epic Movie (2007) DVD Review
Epic Movie (2007) DVD Credits:
Epic Movie (2007) Directed by:
Aaron Seltzer, Jason Friedberg
Epic Movie (2007) Written by:
Aaron Seltzer, Jason Friedberg
Epic Movie (2007) Cast:
Jennifer Coolidge, Crispin Glover, Kal Penn, Adam Campbell
Epic Movie (2007) Released by:
Not available at this time
Region:
1
Epic Movie (2007) DVD Release Date:
21st May 2007
Our Rating: Extras Rating:

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Epic Movie (2007) Synopsis:

Epic Movie" is an ensemble comedy about four young adults going on an awesome adventure.

Epic Movie (2007) DVD Review:

How stupid do they think we are? Very! For anyone who spent a dime on “Date Movie,” the fact that we came back in such high numbers for “Epic Movie” earlier this year proves that the audience has gotten what they deserved and will probably be rewarded with a sequel even more inane. Expect, say, “Superhero Movie” to hit theaters by early next week.

In a culture that values the instant nostalgia of VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” the fact that “Epic Movie” cashes in on culturally relevant products and peons (Paris Hilton, Ashton Kutcher, Ryan Seacrest, etc.) is no surprise. What's surprising is what little this film does with the films it’s mocking. One can only imagine the pointed jokes that could spring from the homoerotic subtext of “Pirates of the Caribbean” beyond naming Johnny Depp’s character “Jack Swallows,” or the kid crusader religious-right bent of “Chronicles of Narnia” beyond kicking a character named Harry Beaver, or the awkwardness of “The Da Vinci Code” beyond spotting a dogs-playing-poker painting in the Louvre, or the overexposure of “Borat” beyond, well, nothing because all the film does with the Borat character is have him do exactly what he did in the movie, minus the humor and social insight.

This film is so bad that it makes me dislike the films it’s halfway parodying. There is a connecting story thread that sees four orphans who each, I don’t know, find their way into different film worlds and must reunite by the end to save Narnia. Scenes in the splintering sections include “X-Men 3’s” Wolverine giving the mutant protagonist (whose power is sprouting chicken wings) the middle finger with his metal claw—try to forget the fact that this scene is spoofing something the real Wolverine did in the first “X-men.” Then a girl enters into Narnia but sees that’s its called Gnarnia instead. “Is it a silent G like in ‘gnome’?” she asks the goat legged creature. “No, it’s for legal purposes” the faun says. If you think that non-joke is funny than you may love how Crispin Glover, as Willy Wonca, makes sour Lemonheads out of… real heads! Another bit sees the White Witch from “Narnia,” known here as the White Bitch, who comes up with a plan to create her own island out of Kryptonite. “Yo, Bitch” her henchmen says, “that’s basically the plot of ‘Superman Returns’.” Uh huh.

Are these even jokes? And for that matter, are the films being parodied even epics? No, but does any of this matter? This film could have been titled “Movie Movie” and it would have made just as much sense and, in turn, made just as much money. “Epic Movie” runs on the fumes of an autopilot parody that knows that just by referencing a topical film like “Borat” people will laugh. Not from the comic premise being genuinely well though out, mind you, but, rather, out of the audience simply recognizing the reference. In this respect watching the “Epic Movie” DVD feels like being test monkey in some insane experiment where we’re being flashed cue cards and expected to react to the images we recognize. Except, unlike the lab monkey, there are no treats in it for us.

“Epic Movie” is written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who, if you don’t know them, are the co-writers of all bad parodies in the last decade starting with “Spy Hard” and working their way up to the Scary Movie franchise. The DVD cover quips that the duo constitutes "2 of the 6 writers of ‘Scary Movie 4’" and it’s fitting that the funniest line in the entire film is literally featured OUTSIDE the film! That “Epic Movie” adds up to only one-third of already-bad “Scary Movie 4” means that the two have made a comedy so bad that I almost wish they’d focus their talents on “Scary Movie 5.” The two are so bad at their game that a user on the IMDB message boards even pleads for the filmmakers death “ASAP.” Beyond that, what’s left to say about a film in the IMDB’s bottom fifty? How about, it should be even lower.

The DVD
Unrated Status: Well, unlike most Unrated DVD comedies the good news is that this one actually has nudity. When opening the Narnia closet door, a naked woman runs across the screen for absolutely no reason. It not funny and makes zero sense but, hey, it’s nudity. Apart from those splendid .03 seconds, the Unrated Version is worse for the simple reason that it’s seven minutes longer than the theatrical.

Special Features: In the commentary (one of the worst I’ve ever heard) filmmakers Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer try so hard to be funny, and for so long, that the commentary retains an almost surreal mood. Is it possible for two well-paid comic screenwriters to try to be funny for 90-minutes without ever actually saying something funny? Yes. And not once do the two actually talk about their experience in writing, directing or producing a topical parody film. Instead, the filmmakers are desperately in search for cleverness with a stream of stuttering faux insights like “We later found out that Bryan Singer used the same technology that we pioneered for many of the sequences in ‘Superman Returns’ even he had already film them.” The two go on and on and on about, for instance, how everything in the film is CGI, or stop-motion, or animated via “jumbo crayons,” or how they filmed “Epic Movie” in zero gravity, or how all the actors are aliens, etc. After hearing this commentary I had to listened to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s genuinely funny insights on the “South Park” and “Cannibal: The Musical” commentary just to cleanse myself.

Other features include a separate commentary track titled "Breaking Wind: An Epic Journey Into the Sounds of an Epic Movie" which randomly layers farts and belches over the farts and belches of the film proper. The feature "How Gratuitous" gives supplementary footage of the women in the film. While you watch the film all you have to do is click the Harry Beaver character when he pops up at various points. When I tried this during unrated version nude scene, my “bonus” was a slow motion clip of the same actress running around… WITH CHLOTHS ON! There’s also useless interview/montage featurettes "Hot or Not: Character Turn Ons and Turn Offs", "Everyone Loves Beaver: Epic Hook-Ups", "Epic Porn – What Would Your Porno Movie Be Called?" (a feature where the actors in the movie are asked to name their own porno: “Lucy Under the Rainbow… With a Beaver, hehehe” one actress names hers—ug), "What Makes Aslo So Irresistable?" (nothing, apparently), and a short, homemade porn looking film selected from some sort of internet contest where two guys wrestle in their bedroom in what is intended to be a “Nacho Libre” send up. And, finally, there’s an alternate ending featuring Crispin Glover and outtakes that are better than the actual film because at least you get a sense that someone involved in this movie (other than the viewer) was having fun.

Our Rating: Extras Rating: User Rating:  Log in to rate this DVD

Epic Movie (2007) DVD review written by: Greg Douglass

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