Melrose Place: The Third Season DVD Review

Bad hair, over the top plotlines, wooden acting, and Heather Locklear; it must be Melrose Place! There’s a lot to love about season three of Melrose Place. The long running prime time soap opera never takes itself too seriously and that’s a wonderful thing considering the amount of pregnancies and murder plots that litter the series. The tenants of Melrose Place are given lots of scenery to chew in the plethora of new plotlines.

Allison becomes an alcoholic and she’s never been more interesting or fun to watch; that is until her relationship with a pill popping record agent becomes similar to that of an afterschool special. The fan favorite redheaded stepchild Sydney gets in one outrageous scam after another (the cult arc remains a priceless moment in awkward viewing pleasure) and looks beautiful throughout. Jo has quite possibly the most effective pro-abstinence baby drama seen on television, beginning in a custody battle and ending in a shotgun blast to the back. Matt is still the castrated victim of the gay community, receiving hardly any plotlines that don’t deal with HIV or gay bashing. While all the other cast members receive sex scene after unadulterated sex scene, his steamiest scene is a tepid kiss at a wedding.

Billy and Jane are as boring and hard to watch as ever, Michael is the still the jerk you love to hate, and Jake keeps his wavy hair and bad boy with a heart of gold persona. Amanda is toned down considerably but still remains watchable although her sob story cancer plotline is more grating than heartwarming. Last but certainly not least is Kimberly. Kimberly redefines the campy queen of evil, ruining the lives of every character on the show be it through baby snatching or explosives. She has some of the greatest moments of the season including her special demon friend visible only to her, and the closing lines of the finale, “It’s not as bad as it looks…IT’S WORSE!”

Unfortunately the image quality of this set isn’t exactly top notch. Many episodes are overly grainy in certain parts and look similar to VHS recordings, which if you’re buying this DVD you most likely already have. The image isn’t too distracting, although the acid washed jeans would have popped if more attention had been paid to quality.

Extras include a reflection on the character of Jake by actor and creator Darren Star. This featurette mainly explores Jake’s relationships with every woman in the apartment complex and how much more cool points he has than the other men. While it brings nothing new to the table, it’s rather fun to watch the all but washed up Grant Show live vicariously through his character. Then there’s the inclusion of 7 minutes in hell which condenses the juiciest bits of the series into a 7 minute montage. While seemingly innocuous, this mish mash of mayhem is hilarious and reveals how self aware the show really is. Also included is Everything You Need to Know About Melrose Place, a skit detailing the narrative cornerstones of the series, detailed by two “lost tenants” of Melrose place. While the mocking of the opening credits sequence is righteously spot on, the rest of the farce is snore inducing.

Melrose Place is definitely a polarizing show, appealing to those with a highly refined taste for trash. The show’s all white cast and manufactured high power lifestyles would prove borderline offensive if not for the hilariously absurd situations they find themselves in.