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 6th September, 2008 |
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Dragonlance - Dragons Of The Autumn Twilight (2007) (2008) DVD Review
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Dragonlance - Dragons Of The Autumn Twilight (2007) (2008) DVD Credits:
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Dragonlance - Dragons Of The Autumn Twilight (2007) (2008) Synopsis:
After 300 years of peace, the world of Krynn has descended into darkness as the evil goddess Takhisis and her army of dragons threaten to dominate the lands. Can a small band of heores, including the wizard Raistlin (Kiefer Sutherland), the priestess Goldmoon (Lucy Lawless), and the half-elven warrior Tanis (Michael Rosenbaum), save the world before all is lost? Based on The New York Times best-seller DRAGONLANCE: DRAGONS OF AUTUMN TWILIGHT is an epic tale of might, magic, and monsters.
Dragonlance - Dragons Of The Autumn Twilight (2007) (2008) DVD Review:
LOW CHARISMA
…And, I mean low. That’s just about the best way to describe DragonLance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight. A Dungeons and Dragons Adventure Tale! Yipee. Not. I’d venture to say that the old Saturday morning cartoon show was better written than this sad, desperate attempt to hook a younger generation into gaming. I say that because it was absolutely written for the eight and under crowd regardless of the PG-13 rating it gets, (which I am sort of scratching my head about anyway). The saddest thing is that this was actually based on a DragonLance novel, by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, no less. It is not, however, the worst of the sad attempts to adapt D&D to film. But that don’t say much.
It begins rather generically. The young Tanis, a half-elf who has gone off in search of the Gods of Light, is now returning to the town of Solace, to meet some old adventuring pals for a hearty drink. Let’s take a brief moment and talk about Tanis for a second, shall we. He’s a second-rate Aragorn all the way. That is, if Aragorn were a wishy-washy half elf who was desperately searching for something to believe in. All the “caught between two worlds” stuff is so over-played it becomes crap. So yeah, that’s our hero. So anyway, he’s frolicking through the forest…
Along the way, through the forest of course, he comes across the lamest dwarf I ever saw. Not even the voice of the Incredible Hulk, Fred Tatasciore could save this guy from being weak sauce. Seriously, no dwarf would ever admit to being old, or tired, or unable to fight. Especially not to humans. But this guy, well, let’s just say my gramma could whup his ass and she’s dead. As we reach the tavern, we meet the rest of our, oh so generic, party, the Cavalier, The mage who has sold his humanity for power, the human Fighter, the Halfling Rogue, the pseudo-Barbarian, and our soon-to-be Cleric. Frankly the whole set up is so poorly executed and so by the book I wanted to find whoever was Game Mastering the menagerie and strangle them. And in the end, that’s what it felt like. I swear if Lucy Lawless Goldmoon charcter said “I am a cleric of Meshugana” or whatever one more time I was going to chuck something at the TV. Why is it that these screenwriters feel like they have to hammer the point home: “THIS IS A ROLE-PLAYING GAME MOVIE!”? I half expected to hear Lucy Lawless from far away going: “Where’s the Mountain Dew?” when her character wasn’t talking, or Keifer Sutherland, who turned in a barely par performance as the mage, going “I cast magic missile at the darkness”.
Along with the screaming Player’s Handbook, we also have some really lackluster attempts to be Lord of the Rings. For those of us who have worn out our CDs listening to Howard Shore’s brilliant work, the similarities are pretty obvious. Hey, then again, they are probably obvious to somebody who saw the movie once and slept through half of it. But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no. We have fake Aragorn. Hell Tanis even looks sort of like him. We have fake Gimli, who’s nowhere near as funny, and we have fake Boromir. But at least he doesn’t try to kill the hobb… I mean Halfling, or Kender or whatever the hell they’re calling them in fourth ed.
To make matters worse the technical aspects were just as bad. The whole thing was a horrible romp through the eighties. It was almost like watching an episode of Captain Power what with the horribly rendered CG dragons being stuck into the mix. The classic eighties era animation would have worked, save for the fact that the frame-rate was slightly off, if not for the cardboard cut out CG stuff. Who were the animators? Matt Parker and Trey Stone? The letterbox presentation didn’t really have an impact. Neither did the 5.1 dolby because, well, the sound design sucked. As for the special features, an Original test animation, and some Character Design sketches aren’t really worth it.
Seriously, this whole farce was a sad attempt to recapture the nostalgia for the eighties series, while pushing the product for a new generation of gamers. When you see this thing at your local retailer, walk a little further and pick up the D&D cartoon box set. You’ll be glad you did. And as for the new generation, they’ll be along. We needn’t worry.
Dragonlance - Dragons Of The Autumn Twilight (2007) (2008) DVD review written by: Joe Burns
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