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Pistol Whipped (2008) DVD Review
Pistol Whipped (2008) DVD Credits:
Pistol Whipped (2008) Directed by:
Roel Reiné
Pistol Whipped (2008) Written by:
J.D. Zeik
Pistol Whipped (2008) Cast:
Steven Segal...Matt, Lance Henriksen...The Old Man, Blanchard Ryan... Liz, Paul Calderon... Blue
Pistol Whipped (2008) Released by:
Not available at this time
Region:
1
Pistol Whipped (2008) DVD Release Date:
4th March 2008
Our Rating: Extras Rating:

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Pistol Whipped (2008) Synopsis:

Steven Seagal stars in this gritty, no-holds barred action film as an elite ex-cop with a gambling (and, haha, weight) problem and a mountain of debt. When a mysterious man offers to clear his debts in exchange for the assassination of the city's most notorious gangsters, he make s decision that will change his life - forever.

Pistol Whipped (2008) DVD Review:

The first lines of “Pistol Whipped” flow as follows, "You sit around all day, you do nothing with your life, you gamble, you're divorced, THE dark past before I met you, then you were a cop and they kicked you out. I'll bet you don't see your daughter one day out of twenty." God, I love subtle writing. Right out of the gate this exposition-a-thon is delivered by a priest to the very person he is talking to, as if that person wasn't aware of his own past; his own DARK past that is. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the latest Steven Segal film. Oh yes, the man is still working. Err, I should say sorta-working as I'm not sure Steven Segal's slouchy style can be considered real work at this point. Most of us may not have seen this action relic since seven years ago when he got all ghetto, threw down with DMX and CGI-jumped himself over an SUV in "Exit Wounds." In the time since Segal has been sleepwalking through twenty, count em’ twenty, direct-to-DVD films. In case you were wondering, his next much anticipated project is titled "Prince of Pistols."

Segal can't get enough pistols I guess. And it makes sense. They call this film "Pistol Whipped because that's about all Segal can do at this point. While the top half is getting good at bitch-slapping the jive out of leather jacket wearing heavies, it's been a long time since the lower half of his body has been used for anything other than running to the buffet. Speaking of lower halves, the title of the film sounds like a really bad porno. I should be so lucky. Instead, "Pistol Whipped" is a hitman thriller in which the washed up character Segal plays (and is!) goes up against those involved in his past. His DARK past. Guys who we learn in a shocking moment are "dirty, dirty to the core." And if that’s not poetry, the cover seduces with its cutting edge tagline: "They came to collect a debt. He delivered in full." Woohoo, rawk!

As Segal meanders from one hit to another, the moo moo wearing tough guy can't even bother to memorize his lines. Instead, he mumbles his way through bad action sequences and appalling directing full of needless pans and “Saw”-ish frameskips (one shot takes us on a sped-up, 360 degree revolution around Segal’s house for no good reason). Before pouncing --all slow-like-- on his next mark, Segal asks "Waaass...hhhsss naame," to the random hot girl that finds something absolutely irresistible about this ponytail wearing Manimal. "Bruno," the girl says. "Whaasssthat sme kinna movie staaa naame?" the too-cool-for-speech Segal mumbles. First...what the hell does that even mean? Bruno: a movie star name? What?! Segal has not only given up on the movies but, from the looks of it, life itself. He's like old Marlon Brando minus the talent. I suppose that makes “Pistol Whipped” “Godfather” minus the, um, everything.

The DVD
· Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
· Language: English
· Subtitles: Chinese, English, French, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish
· Run Time: 96 minutes

Extras
Get ready for this: if you buy “Pistol Whipped” you will get hooked up with no less than two whole deleted scenes. As a bonus this generous DVD package throws previews for the films "Zombie Strippers" and "Urban Justice." Contain yourself, people, I'm sure the three hour Criterion director's cut of "Pistol Whipped" is just around the corner.

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Pistol Whipped (2008) DVD review written by: Greg Douglass

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